Darkness Around the Sun
by Beatleslife
Summary: The rain always made me feel better" Leah vents to Jacob about life. VERY important to read author's note, explains VERY important things. AU
1. Black Orchid

**A/N: As one of the many who was heavily disappointed in Stephenie Meyer for the all around suckfest that was _Breaking Dawn_, I felt the need to right one of her many wrongs: Jacob and Rennesmee (her name was a mistake in itself). Predictable and disgusting (as summed up in a wonderful petition i signed)not mention void of all free will on Jacob's part. Leah would have been great. Just once Stephenie Meyer could've taken the road less traveled and even though she had it all set up for them to be together, she didn't. Basically it's post-Breaking Dawn minus the imprinting (although Jacob still adores Rennesmee, just not in THAT way). Suck it Stephenie.**

Leah's POV:

I always loved the rain. It was the weirdest thing, but I've loved how it makes the whole air smell moist and clean. There's nothing better than going out for a soggy walk after one of La Plush's infamous showers. The whole forest is dripping with fresh dew that shines like diamonds in the sun's light. Yet, ever since I become a werewolf (have I really _become_ a werewolf? Or was I always one?) everything that I loved has now diminished in importance. Even the rain can't ease my intense bitterness. You would be bitter if your love left you for your cousin and you then became the only girl werewolf in a pack. Not that that would ever happen to you, because lucky me I'm the only one in the world!

_Hey Leah_, I hear in my head. I turn around to see Jacob, also in wolf form, walking behind me. _Enjoying the rain? _he thinks sarcastically.

_Yeah_, I think, surprising even myself with the sadness which echoes in my voice.

_You okay, you seem out of it._

_So what, dip-shit? I may be a bitch in _every_ sense of the word, but I'm aloud to show a little fucking emotion! You all treat me like I'm some bitch who has no feelings! Like it doesn't hurt whenever you insult me! Like I don't flinch every time I see Sam kiss Emily _right in front of my fucking face_! Like every night I'm not crying myself to fucking sleep thinking how even Seth hates me now!_

_...Seth doesn't hate you,_ he thinks pathetically. I scoff in my head.

_No one likes a liar Jake. Why do you think I joined your pack? I needed to keep Seth okay. All it did was backfire into him hating me, but at least I'm not in that hellhole anymore._

_It wasn't a hellhole._

_And don't even compare Sam to Bella! I was actually with Sam! This is why I hate imprinting! It takes the freewill out of love! It's like some sick-minded fuck-head just made it up to fuck with everyone's brains! So sixteen year olds fall in love with three year olds! So people can leave people they really love for people they've never even met. It's a atrocity!_

_Leah, like it or not this is life._

_But it's not fair!_

_But it's how it is!_

_Maybe life's not for me. I'm a freak of a freak of nature! I should just dive off a cliff, or swallow a lot of advil-_

_Leah, the pain mean's it's working. If you don't feel as crappy as you do then you're not really alive at all are you?_

_...Sounds like you've thought about this a lot._

_Who hasn't...Come on let's get back home._

At least the rain is helping me feel better again.

**Should I continue?**


	2. Do you ever wonder?

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews!! I'm sorry this chapter so short!**

"Hey Jacob," I as I open the door for him. "I was just going out to meet you."

"Yeah, I got Quil to take your place-"

"What? Jacob you've got to be kidding me! _I'm_ on watch tonight!" I interrupted.

"Leah, you need to rest-"

"God...you think I'm insane...just say it Jacob," I got really quiet at the end.

"You're not...you just need a psychologist."

"And you don't?"

"I've been going to one for two months. A little bit after Rennesmee was born."

"Fine, then _you're_ insane, _I'm_ not. I can't afford to see a therapist either."

"Then you can talk to someone...you can talk to me. As your Alpha it's my job to keep you safe."

"So glad I'm just another obligation."

"Leah-"

"Why do you even need a psychologist! You have _everything_! I have _nothing_! My family hates me, my pack hates me, I can't afford to go to fucking college! I'm going to die in this nightmare of a town!"

"Fine, then go out on watch tonight! Will that give you something, or will it just kill you even more inside?"

I start to bawl. He takes me into a huge hug.

"It just hurts so much Jake," I cry.

"I know, Leah."

--

Jake POV:

"Lately I just feel like she just needs someone, and maybe that someone could be me! I don't even care when she's bitchy anymore, I actually like it. All of a sudden stubborn has turned into strong-willed, and bitter has become hurt! It's like-it's as if..."

"You love her," says my therapist like what she just said won't completely change my life.

"No! I don't! I'm not even attracted to her in that way!"

"So you don't ever think about her that way?"

"Sure, she's pretty, but I just don't feel that way."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

--

Leah POV:

"So I told him to suck it and left the store!" I say and Jacob laughs hysterically. We're walking in the woods on our way to our watch post. I was in such a good mood right now, and with no idea why.

"I can't believe you talked to him like that!"

"He was bitching at me and I wasn't in the mood!" I defend myself pathetically. We both stop having reached our posts.

"...Well I'm just going to go behind a tree..." Jacob says awkwardly.

"Don't be stupid Jacob," I say as I shed my t-shirt and bicycle shorts and transform into a wolf. A few seconds later Jacob is also beside me in wolf form.

_You're a really beautiful wolf, Leah._

_Thanks,_ I laugh as I shake my shaggy head. _I'm thinking I should cut my hair, it's too much trouble when I'm a wolf._

_Please don't..._

_Ummm...okay. I wish you'd cut your's though._

_Why? _he asks offended.

_Between that and your muscles you look like a caveman. You'd look really nice with short spiky hair...like you used to have._

_You mean...Before Bella, don't you._

_No,_ I think quickly

_It's okay...I was a better person all around before Bella...I didn't try to steal other people's girlfriends, I didn't run away from my troubles..._

_But you're better now and that's all that matters!_ I say in an out of character happy voice, as I try to cheer him up.

_Thank you Leah. You're a much better person then you try to be._

_...God, why are we always so serious. We need to joke around some more. Watch more _Colbert Report, _eat more Cheetos. When did everyone become so serious, _I joke...so I won't cry most likely.

_You watch Colbert Report? Geez, Leah, when you remove that stick from your ass you really do it quick._

_Shut up!_ I say as I playfully tackle him, taking nips at his muzzle. He roll himself to be on top of me.

_I love you,_ I hear in his head as he nuzzles my neck. That gets me running.


End file.
